Rock Bottom

Falling down a rabbit hole

Watching from afar,

No way to intervene.

They tumble and they stumble,

I wish this wasn’t it

Rock bottom never seemed so scary

Until you watch another come

so close

Their eyes squeezed shut

The obsidian abyss

Encompassing

Mere light a fantasy

high above their head

Hope now shattered.

Happy Holidays

This time last year, I was spending Christmas in Japan with a wonderful host family who were kind, adventurous, funny, and just an all around joy to be with. Since then, I think we can all agree that much has happened in the world from COVID to Politics to movements that need to happen. We’ve come a long way from where we once stood a year ago and while it’s difficult to see past all the misfortune and sadness that has gripped us these last few months, take today and focus on all the good that has happened, no matter the size of it.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday, spending it with loved ones whether they be family or friends. This year has been a hard one, but we’re getting through it one step at a time so take today to breathe, relax, and collect yourself. Enjoy the day and look back on all the amazing things you’ve accomplished in life. Take joy in the ones you hold dear.

Happy Holidays!

Jealousy

A green beast.

An angry beast.

A large, hideous beast.

What’s this thing that

presses from the inside out?

Suffocating,

stomping on the lungs.

It knocks out all the

oxygen, and it fills the

bags full of a mist.

A thick,

slimey,

green mist

that comes out in clumps

with every breath.

How does one stop

the beast from rampaging?

How does one stop

the beast from taking over?

This beast,

this hideous beast,

with the name

Jealousy.

Steam

I toss my gaze to the window, squinting the tired blear from my eyes. Old street lamps sit along the sidewalk, their lights stretching to enter this dark room. I curl my body forward, sitting up and removing the arm of my unknown night guest. My fingers curl around a large T-shirt; theirs or mine, I’ve not a clue.

My Keurig whirs to life in the kitchen and my senses awaken as my tired limbs carry me towards the machine. The scent of heavenly coffee drifts to my nose, wrapping around my fogged brain; I hold the filled mug close to my face, watching as the steam rises, telling the secrets of last night.

False Statement

Why is it you

enter my thoughts sometimes and never

leave?

As if you are thinking of me, too.

You know,

they say that

if one can’t sleep,

they’re awake in another’s dreams.

Why is it you

disrupt my sleep as if

you still have a hold of me?

As if we still have anything

to do with each other

When that’s a pretty false

statement.

Our Life

Through the ups and downs,

we go through life,

with heads held high,

basking in the sun

or

dripping in the rain.

Trying to find a path

only our own gaze

can follow.

Walking down a road

of our own making.

Twist and turns,

skips and hops.

This is our life.

This is our making.

The Essay

Did you go to the party? I

Heard Brian was there. Mr. Marx is

Collecting the essays he assigned last

Week. Everyone

Was there. Even Sarah?

I’m so glad it’s almost break. Are you ready

For the game on Friday? The

Cheer team has to

Wear leg covers since it’s getting

So cold now. Mr. Marx is a joke.

Did you see the video? She’s

Actually showing her face. I

Just bought these sneakers.

Oh my God, look at her face! I

Didn’t know someone

Could drink that much. Dude,

I’m not ready for this Anatomy exam.

Gross!

Did you see the way she’s

Looking at

Him?

What a great night! That’s what

Brian said, too.

Hey Sarah, looking good.

I forgot about the Essay.

Time

I keep my secrets to myself. Jumping, skipping, hopping all around, the knowing grin curling my chapped and cracked lips. Soft, melodic notes reverberate against my vocal cords; all is right in the world, but I know.

I know I can only keep the charade going for so long. What I release on those lined pages of the leather-bound notebook, tucked away beneath my pillows are far worse than the monsters under my bed.

Power

Note: This features topics of sexual child abuse and rape that may be triggering.

It was the small things that set off the memories; the tick, tick, ticking of the clock in the living room as the wooden pendulum swung back and forth, back and forth; the smell of peppermint gum on my friend’s breath, or of the candy cane I ate at Christmas; even the taste of the air in my house had vomit burning the back of my throat.

Continue reading “Power”

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